We Pick Maui’s Weekend Highlights

By Vanessa Wolf

It’s not happening, buddy. Give up before it gets worse.

In a desperate act to make this weekly feature more than just a regurgitation of facts, we will henceforth be declaring certain events superior to others.

In that spirit, enjoy the first inaugural effort to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Best Awkward Date

Not really hitting it off? Run out of things to say before you even got started? Break the silence with the sounds of other people talking on a screen.

Advertised as “as steampunk kung fu throwdown,” Tai Chi Zero is a combination of Kung Fu Fighting meets Kill Bill with a side of comical fun.

Tai Chi Zero. This movie will do all the dating work for you, obviously. Courtesy image.

In legendary Chen Village, everyone is a martial arts master and uses a powerful form of Tai Chi in all aspects of life. Yang has arrived to try and learn it, only to find that it’s forbidden for the villagers to teach their secret style to an outsider. But when a mysterious man comes to town with a frightening steam-powered machine and plans to build a railroad through a village, the villagers realize they may have no choice but to put their faith in Yang, who has a secret power of his own.

Tai Chi Zero is part of the First Light Film Festival being held at the Castle Theater, and airs tonight at 9 p.m. Tickets are $12.

Best Reason to Laugh

Comedienne Rita Rudner. Courtesy image.

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn’t it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

Funny lady Rita Rudner performs Saturday night at 7:30 p.m. in the McCoy Studio Theater.

Voted “Best Comedian in Las Vegas” by the Las Vegas Review-Journal for the past decade, Rudner has become one of the most beloved performers in a city filled with cabarets and production shows. In 2008, Rita began a relationship with PBS. Her one-hour special “Rita Rudner: Live From Las Vegas” was a ratings standout for PBS stations across the USA. This year, she produced with her husband Martin Bergman a theatrical play, “Tickled Pink” to rave reviews.

Tickets are $35 standard or $65 for VIP.

Best Late Night

OM Concerts & Beats Bazaar presents ‘10’ . This super group features Eric Mc Fadden from P Funk, Thomas Pridgen from Mars Volta, and Norwood Fisher from Fishbone. These three virtuoso musicians are debuting their unique blend of rock, funk fusion tonight at Three’s in Kihei’s “Barmuda Triangle.” Tickets are $15 at the door, and the show starts at 10 p.m.

Can’t make it tonight?

‘10’ plays again tomorrow at Charley’s in Paia. Doors open at 9 p.m. Show starts at 10 p.m. Tickets are $15.

Best Time Out for the Little Ones

Kihei Library. Bubble Day is a good excuse to get your kids inside a library. Courtesy photo.

It’s Bubble Day at Kihei Library!

Your keiki can enjoy good, clean, free fun with bubbles on Saturday, Dec. 15, beginning at 10:30 a.m. in the library’s backyard.

Giant bubbles, mini bubbles, floating bubbles, wobbling bubbles: they have it all. The entire family is invited to have fun with bubbles of all sizes — blow, pop, catch, and chase ’em. They’ll be begging to be put to bed early after this!  All materials will be provided.

Participants should bring (or wear) a swimsuit, sunscreen and towel, and all young children must be accompanied by a parent or caregiver.

Best For Inspiring Holiday Cheer

On Saturday at 7:30 p.m., enjoy the Maui Choral Arts Holiday Concert Never Such a Moment.

The concert features the Maui Concert Chorus of more than 60 singers, conducted by Gary Shin-Leavitt and guest-conductor Bob Wills. The chorus will be joined by the Olinda Chorale and the Baldwin High School Brass Band. The distinctive program blends moving classics such as the Monteverdi Magnificat and Daniel Pinkham’s Christmas Concerto with many seasonal favorites and some unexpected surprises.

Tickets are $25 for preferred reserved seating and $15 for general seating. Admission is $5 for children and students (with student ID).

Have an event you want harshly judge…er…considered? Drop us a line at [email protected].