Vanessa Wolf feels we should never speak of 2012 again.
By Vanessa Wolf
You survived the holiday season!
Take down that tree, promptly begin ignoring those resolutions, and treat yourself to some entertainment this weekend from the list of fine options we’ve rustled up for you here.
Best Date for Country Music Lovers
Think country music is hard to come by on Maui? Well, normally you’d be right, but tonight at 7:30 p.m., award winning country singer Steve Zuwala plays the MACC.
Accompanied by the Above the Law band, the show is a benefit for the Maui Food Bank. It turns out it’s also Steve’s birthday, so don’t forget to bring him a present or give him a spanking or something.
Some of Zuwala’s hits include the country rock song “Comin’ Home,” the ballad “Tomorrow” and the island-sound song “Toes in the Sand.” Zuwala was voted “Most Played International Artist” and has won two Hawai’i Music Awards and earned Dove and Grammy nominations for his seven #1 singles.
The show is being held in the intimate McCoy Studio Theater and tickets are $25.
Best Local Music Option
After a year and a half of absence, the BrownChicken BrownCow StringBand is back on Maui.
They are currently in the midst of their Shoyu Chicken Tour, which brings them to Stella Blues this evening at 10 p.m.
With roots in the mountains of West Virginia, their shows are made up mostly of original music which crosses over between bluegrass, old-style country, gypsy-jazz, Irish and folk.
The Shoyu Chicken Tour marks BrownChicken’s first island performances with their new harmonica player, Kat Fountain. They will be playing from their brand new studio album, Flying High, along with their other four albums.
The show starts at 10 p.m. and tickets are $15.
Best Way to Start Working Off Some of That Fruitcake, Cheesecake, Pound Cake, etc.
Strap on your running shoes and head to Whaler’s Village in Lahaina nice and early for the Hyundai Hope On Wheels 5K Run/Walk Saturday morning.
Hyundai Hope On Wheels has a clear mission: to eliminate childhood cancer. Every 36 minutes, a child in the US is diagnosed with cancer and their goal is to continue to support life-saving research with the hope that one day no child will have to hear the words, “you have cancer.”
This particular event benefits pediatric cancer research in Hawaii and the Kapi’olani Children’s Hospital.
The race starts at 7 a.m. at Whalers Village in Lahaina. Registration is $10 for those 12 and under and $35 for all others.
Best (Fun) Way to Get Your Keiki Reading
Sure, there’s school, bribery or even brute force, but a cute and cuddly pup will probably make it quite a bit easier.
This Saturday – and every Saturday in January – at the Makawao Public Library, your first through sixth grader has an opportunity to read to a trained therapy dog from Hawaii Canines for Independence as part of the “R.E.A.D. to a Dog” program.
This event, held weekly from 3 p.m. to 4:15 p.m. in the tutoring room will help your keiki build their reading confidence and literacy skills in a fun and friendly setting.
Hawaii Canines for Independence is a non-profit organization that provides specially-trained dogs to people with physical disabilities to assist them in living more independent lives.
Parents should contact the library at (808) 573-8785 to pre-register their child for a 10 minute session. It’s asked that each child arrives on time and is accompanied by their parent or caregiver.
Best Cultural Music Event
This Saturday evening, Haunani Apoliona, Ku‘uipo Kumukahi and Helene Woodward present “Songs of Our Ali‘i.”
Haunani Apoliona, is a 12-string guitar player, renowned native Hawaiian leader, Board of Trustees Chair for Office of Hawaiian Affairs, and member of the legendary Hawaiian music group Olomana.
Ku‘uipo Kumukahi plays guitar and has released six Hawaiian music albums. She has also received 10 Nā Hōkū Hanohano Awards, including two for Female Vocalist of the Year.
Helene Woodward plays upright bass and performed with Mahiehie for hālau hula for 25 years. She also performed at the Halekulani Hotel in Waikiki with the Islanders for 20 years.
The show starts at 7:30 p.m. in the McCoy Studio Theater at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. Tickets are $35. 7:30 p.m.
Best Chance to Use the Expression “Wicked Pissa” and Be Understood
Organizers request that you “bring a Massachusetts potluck dish, wear a Massachusetts, Red Sox, Patriots, or Celtics T-shirt and speak Bostonian.”
If you don’t know what would constitute a Massachusetts potluck dish, then you probably aren’t the intended audience, but just in case, we recommend Boston cream pie, lobster rolls, clam chowder, or some Yankee pot roast.
A Massachusetts trivia contest is also on the agenda and prizes will be awarded. For more information, call 280-1299.
Have an event you want harshly judge…er…considered? Drop us a line at email@example.com.