Vanessa Wolf is doing her Charlie Murphy impersonating Rick James impersonation in her head right now, bitch.
By Vanessa Wolf
Jesus, Mary, and all the saints it’s hard to come up with something unique to say each and every Friday morning for these weekend events pieces!
Time marches on, and it must be done. Resistance is futile.
However, writing blah blah blah blah is unlikely to make it past the editorial censors, so how about this for something new and fresh: buckle up and let’s talk about some varied and sundried fun ways to occupy the first weekend of February. Woot!
Best-Sounding Offering at the Maui Fringe Festival
The Maui Fringe Festival goes on all weekend, and maybe it’s because we interviewed her or because of that really weird day we felt particularly icky and never got out of bed opting instead to watch the entire first season of American Horror Story back-to-back in aghast, breathless, dazzled awe, but Julia Wackenheim’s “Turner & Hooch 2:” sounds like a whole lotta fun.
As she explained, “I play myself as a 12-year old in the house I grew up in in New Jersey, where there was a murder in the house right before we moved in since my parent’s thought that wasn’t a big deal. This is a 12-year-old’s fantasy about that mystery.”
You can catch it tonight at 8:15 p.m. at the Iao Theater in Wailuku.
Tickets are $10 at the door or you can purchase them and/or check out the other awesome-sounding offerings online.
Best Reason to Bust Out Your Charlie Murphy Impersonating Rick James Impersonation
It’s Rick James’ birthday, and thus Super Freak Friday, at Charley’s in Paia.
Didn’t Rick James die?
A while ago?
Do you still get a birthday if you’re dead and not a president?
Oh well. Who cares!?
Charley’s invites you to “come down and get freaky” and who needs an excuse for that?!
Celebrate the music of Rick James with DJ Kamikaze & DJ Big Mike.
They also promise that you can/should “Live in the video mix!” I’m afraid I don’t really know what that means, but I don’t write this stuff, I just regurgitate it.
Anyhoo, doors open at 10 p.m. and plan to fork over $10 at the door.
Best Way to Earn a Quick Dry T-Shirt
Tomorrow morning in pitch-blackness, you can get in your car and head down to the Makena Beach & Golf Resort to Run and Walk for the Whales.
The half-marathon and 10K check-in is at 5:30 a.m. and the half marathon begins an hour later.
The 10K starts at 7 a.m. , the 5K starts at 7:30 a.m., and 8 a.m. brings the start of the Keiki Fun Run.
Entry fee for adults includes “Run and Walk for the Whales” quick dry t-shirt plus post-race breakfast. Children ages 12 and under participating in the 2K Keiki Race will receive a “Run and Walk for the Whales” t-shirt plus post-race breakfast.
Free pairs of whale watch tickets, medals and lei will be awarded to the top three male and top three female overall finishers in the 5K, 10K and Half Marathon. The top age group male and female winners in each of the three distances will each win a pair of whale watch tickets.
Children in the 2K children’s race will also be entered into a drawing to win whale-themed toys, books, videos and games. The top boy and girl finishers will also receive medals.
And all runners and walkers will also receive a coupon for a 25% discount on any Pacific Whale Foundation whale watch.
If you haven’t already done so, they ask that you please register at the race.
Fees are $50 for the half marathon, $45 for the 10K, $40 for the 5K and $30 for the keiki run.
Best Soiree in the Middle of the Day…or at All
The inaugural “Go Red Soiree” is tomorrow from 3–5 p.m.
The event includes a variety of ‘mini’ events such as a Fashion Show, “ Hot Lips” Contest, Chair Massages by Kapalua Spa associates, Silky Smooth Hands by Clarisonic, Body Posture Evaluation, Sexy Eyes Station by Opal, Lips Station by La Bella Donna Makeup and complimentary sparkling Bubbles and Spa Truffles.
A benefit silent auction will also be held to raise fund during the event.
Tickets are $65 per person with 100% of the proceeds to benefit Maui’s American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women Movement.
Best Arty (and Free!) Opportunity to See and Be Seen
The third annual Maui Open Studios opening celebration and preview exhibition is Saturday from 6-9 p.m. at the Maui Tropical Plantation in Wailuku.
There you can plan to meet many of the Maui Open Studios’ participating artists and preview their artwork while enjoying cash bars, no-host pupus and live music by The Jazz Maui Trio.
This event kicks off three weekends of self-guided tours of artist open studios island-wide.
The self-guided tours begin Feb. 9 with the first weekend north and Upcountry, Feb. 16 and 17 Central Maui, the road to Hana and Hana, and the final weekend west and southside.
All events are free to the public.
Best Venue to Let Your Freak Flag Fly
If you didn’t get enough out of your system at the Rick James party at Charley’s, you may want to check out the 6th annual Maui Mystic Island Festival in Kihei this weekend.
The weekend-long event features yoga, art, workshops and music.
Sunday kicks off at 8 a.m. with yoga with Angel Meeknashi followed by a day of music from such performers as Samantha Sweetwater with DJ Boogiemeister, Scott Huckabee, and Chris Berry and Friends.
The full line-up and bios are available here.
This year’s Maui Mystic Island Festival is at the VFH at 1136 Uluniu Road in Kihei. Passes are $100.
Aware of something cool or amazing or incredible that’s going to be happening on Maui? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET US KNOW ABOUT IT. – email@example.com