Maui Arts & Entertainment

Top 10 Excuses for Being in the Ceiling of a Police Station

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**Editor’s note: This article is based on yesterday’s story about a woman who was arrested after falling through the ceiling of Kihei Police Station.**

Vanessa Wolf tends to avoid police stations in all ways, shapes, and forms.

By Vanessa Wolf

To the best of our knowledge Nick Nolte has never crashed through the ceiling of a police station, but we envision a similar photo might that ever occur.

To the best of our knowledge Nick Nolte has never crashed through the ceiling of a police station, but we envision a similar photo, might that ever occur.

It’s always alarming when someone unexpectedly crashes through the ceiling of a police station, and we sincerely hope everything works out for anyone that may have happened to recently.

Still, we can’t help but wonder if maybe there isn’t a perfectly reasonable explanation?

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Here are some suggestions for those of you who may find yourself looking up at a cadre of police officers after falling through a police station ceiling:

10. “A unicorn double-dog dared me.”

9. “Wait. What? You mean this isn’t a lava tube?”

8. “It’s really hard to meet guys on this island.”

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7.  “I get on these mochi benders and… well, you see what happens.”

6. “Bitches be crazy.”

5. “It’s Obama’s fault.”

4.  “Greetings, earthling. Take me to your leader. That small, rotund Japanese fellow.”

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3. “Eddie would go.”

2. “My assignment from the Impossible Missions Force self-destructed before I fully processed the details.”

1. “I heard this is where the meth at.”

 

Have an idea for a fun or thought-provoking story? Get in touch: we want to hear from you. -Vanessa (@mauinow.com)

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