“Whaddaya Mean We’re Still Alive?” Weekend Options

By Vanessa Wolf

The holidays are upon us and it’s kind of a slow weekend, events-wise.

Hey, can you blame them? We weren’t even supposed to be here to have to write this up.

The pickings may be slim, but here are some of the best ways to spend your post-apocalyptic weekend.

Best Way to Face Your Mortality

Lovely Camp Kaenae, site of the Funk Da End of the World show.

It’s looking like the Mayans were wrong, but just in case, some renowned New Orleans musicians have come to the island to help shut it down.

George Porter Jr. and Ivan Neville are synonymous with the sound of New Orleans and beginning today, they will both headline “Funk Da End a Da World,” a two-day music festival at Camp Keanae. With over 15 bands, “Funk Da End a Da World,” offers an opportunity celebrate the end of the Mayan calendar and get your groove on at the same time.

Today’s lineup includes Wavetrain, Mothxp, Jug Dealers, Afrolicious, DJ Logic¸and Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk, with the Brown Chicken Brown Cow String Band rounding it up at 1 a.m.

Presuming the world continues to keep on keeping on tomorrow, Braddah Waltah takes to the stage at 12:30 p.m. on  Saturday, followed by Kanekoa, Barry and the Sweatbeats, Brown Chicken Brown Cow String Band, JFlashdrive, Afromassive, Monophonics, and George Porter Jr.’s Running Pardners.

Tickets are $185 presale $200 at door. And $400 VIP. Gates open 10 a.m. Music Starts at 12 p.m.

Best Family Fun

Tonight’s Makawao Friday Town Party has  the theme of “Makawao Gives.”

Merchants will donate a portion of their proceeds from the night to favorite charities, and pool donations to make a greater community impact. The party will feature last-minute sales, holiday lights, Christmas carolers, and shops serving eggnog, cookies, and holiday treats.

Best of all? Enjoy a free massage at ON CORE Studio provided by students from the Makawao School of Therapeutic Massage.

Makawao Friday is from 6 – 9 p.m., and Baldwin Street will remain open for easy parking.

Best Way to Mix Business and Pleasure

All those credit card bills you racked up assuming you wouldn’t be here to have to pay them? Maybe consider atoning for some financial sins in Kahului tonight.

Falcon’s Nest Home Furnishings in Kahului is holding a Christmas Holiday Mixer. Come and celebrate the holidays with other Maui businesses at the “Meet and Greet” party.

There is a $10 charge, and part of the evening’s proceeds will benefit Women Helping Women. The event is from 5 – 7 p.m.  at the Kahului Shopping Center located at 65 Ka’ahumanu Avenue.

Best Late Night

Anuhea. Featured image.

Tonight at Three’s, join Anuhea with her full band for her End of the World and Birthday bash.

Rylee Anuheake’alaokalokelani Jenkins (Anuhea) was born in December 1985 on the island of Maui.  A self-taught guitarist and song writer, Anuhea began showcasing her talents while boarding at Kamehameha Schools in Honolulu. “We would print out guitar chords to Bob Marley and Jack Johnson songs then skip water polo practice to go back to the dorms and jam them. Once I got the basic idea of guitar I then started writing my own songs.”

See her perform tonight at 10 p.m. at Three’s. Tickets are $20 at the door.

Best Night Out for GLEE Fans

If you’re in the mood for some upbeat singing and dancing, consider taking in some live theater.

ProArts Playhouse presents Smokey Joe’s Café,  a musical revue showcasing 39 pop standards, including rock and roll and rhythm and blues.

Plots get you down?

The 39 songs are presented by various members of the cast, with little to no dialogue. They include a range of catchy tunes from “Love Potion #9” and “Jailhouse Rock” to romantic ballads “Stand By Me” and “There Goes My Baby.”

The show starts at 7:30, and tickets are $25.

Best Way to Spend an Entire Sunday in Air Conditioning

The First Light Film Festival continues this weekend at the MACC. On Sunday, load your pockets with Junior Mints and Milk Duds and take in three consecutive films starting with Rise of the Guardians at 2 p.m.

Rise of the Guardians tells the story of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman, and Jack Frost—legendary characters with previously unknown extraordinary abilities. When an evil spirit known as Pitch lays down the gauntlet to take over the world, the immortal Guardians must join forces to protect the hopes, beliefs and imagination of children everywhere.

At 5 p.m., Arbitrage, a taut and alluring suspense thriller about love, loyalty, and high finance, screens. When we first meet New York hedge-fund magnate Robert Miller (Richard Gere) on the eve of his 60th birthday, he appears the very portrait of success in American business and family life. But behind the gilded walls of his mansion, Miller is in over his head, desperately trying to complete the sale of his trading empire to a major bank before the depths of his fraud are revealed. Struggling to conceal his duplicity from loyal wife Ellen (Susan Sarandon) and brilliant daughter and heir-apparent Brooke (Brit Marling), Miller’s also balancing an affair with French art-dealer Julie Cote (Laetetia Casta).

Round out your day in the Castle Theater with On the Road at 7:30 p.m.

Based on the iconic novel by Jack Kerouac, On The Road tells the timeless story of Sal Paradise (Sam Riley), a young writer whose life is shaken and ultimately redefined by the arrival of Dean Moriarty (Garrett Hedlund), a free-spirited, fearless, fast-talking Westerner and his girl, Marylou (Kristen Stewart). Traveling cross-country, Sal and Dean venture out on a personal quest for freedom from the conformity and conservatism engulfing them in search of the unknown, themselves, and the pursuit of “it”—the pure essence of experience.

Tickets are $12 each.

Have an event you want harshly judge…er…considered? Drop us a line at [email protected].