Vanessa Wolf is a former head chef, previously working in Portland, Oregon.

By Vanessa Wolf

Ahhhhhh….Valentine’s Day.

These two little words either inspire broad smiles and googly eyes or sponteanous deafness and under-your-breath mumbling about how lucky you are at cards.

If of the latter variety, why the heck did you click on this? Seriously, you may want to look away and go read something else now.

Those of you in the throes of lurve, however, and looking for some truly romantic options for the upcoming holiday have come to the right place.

Here are some of the best reservation-only offerings the Valley Isle has to offer.

The Sheraton Maui is hosting a Valentine’s Dinner.

The four-course meal starts with Big Island beef short rib ravioli with roasted tomato butter and shaved asiago cheese.

The second course features chilled asparagus salad with hearts of romaine lettuce, shredded egg confetti, and maui onion champagne vinaigrette.

From there enjoy pan-seared Hawaiian snapper stuffed with Dungeness crab alongside Yukon gold potato hash and ginger-citrus butter sauce.

Shut it down with a raspberry and strawberry almond torte with Tahitian vanilla bean sauce and fresh raspberry coulis.

The dinner costs $63 per person and reservations are required.

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The Hula Grill in Ka’anapali will be offering a special aphrodisiac-inspired Valentine’s Day menu.

The Valentine’s Day meal begins with a chilled selection of assorted Pacific Northwest oysters and champagne lilikoi mignonette, followed by a choice of two entrees.

The first is a kiawe-grilled Hawaiian ranchers’ tenderloin with balsamic fig reduction, black truffle scallop potato, and herb-glazed heirloom carrots.

The second option is a seafood paella served with the local catch, Portuguese sausage, scallop, shrimp, Tristan lobster, British Columbia clams, saffron rice, roasted garlic and buttered peas.

Dessert features a “chocolate treasure chest”: a combination of white and dark chocolate mousse, chocolate ganache, and marinated strawberries, served in a puff pastry chest with macadamia nut brittle.

Guests may order the special menu as a three-course dinner, which is priced at $62.85 for the Seafood Paella option and $64.85 for the Tenderloin. The items may also be purchased ala carte. In addition, Hula Grill’s regular dinner menu will be available.

Best of all? If you forgot to get flowers, the Hula Grill will be providing your lady with a single stemmed rose. It’s not “flowers,” but it’s better than nothing.

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The Hula Grill is not the only one with aphrodisiacs on the brain.

Gannon’s in Wailea is having a Valentine’s Day Aphrodisiac Tasting Menu.

The feast begins with duck consommé with foie gras tortellini, which is followed by buttered poached oysters with lemon caviar, and an avocado and Hawaiian chili relish

Next, enjoy seared scallops with lobster risotto and basil pesto. The fourth course features almond-crusted rack of lamb with asparagus, fig and port sauce.

The meal ends with a TBD chocolate dessert that will no doubt sound as fabulous as the above-mentioned items.

The tasting menu is available for $75 per person.

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Do none of these meals seem remotely flamboyant enough?

You’re in love. You’re not thinking straight. It’s OK. We understand.

Go ahead and go crazy: break the bank and blow her mind at the Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa’s Dinner Under the Stars: “a romantic dinner for two set
 in one of three distinct and private locations.”

The meal starts with fresh island sashimi served with a wasabi dipping sauce

Next, enjoy a salad of floral of upcountry greens with oriental dressing, 
sour dough Kaiser bread, and whipped Molokai honey butter.

The entrée is 
seared filet mignon a la Oscar (crab legs with asparagus) glazed with béarnaise sauce served with garlic mashed potatoes.

For dessert, choose from a “heavenly” haupia cake, double chocolate dobash, Grandma’s apple pie, or Italian tiramisu

The meal is served with coffee or tea and costs 
$165 per person.

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Bored by all these meals on land?

Consider the Pride of Maui Sunset Cruise, which departs from Ma’alaea that evening.

The menu features cooked-to-order flat iron steaks, jumbo prawns sautéed in garlic butter and fresh herbs, Dauphinoise potatoes, classic Caesar salad, and oven roasted island vegetables.

The meal ends with fresh fruit, chocolate dipped strawberries and coconut crème cake.

There is also an open bar and entertainment provided by Maui’s Mitch Kepa.

Check-in for the cruise is at 4:30 p.m. and it sails from 5-7 p.m. The cost is $99.95 per person or $89.95 if you purchase it online.

Just make sure she isn’t prone to seasickness before you book, because some of us have been known to decorate the side of a catamaran with a $100 meal and that’s no fun for anybody…well, unless that’s what you’re into.

We welcome your feedback. Please let us know if you hear of any new restaurants opening or reopening, total menu overhauls, or simply know of a hidden treasure you want to share. Have a restaurant you want reviewed (or re-reviewed)? Drop us a line – Vanessa(@mauinow.com)